I love you
by blindrepata
Summary: Tasha is drunk in a bar...
1. Chapter 1

One Friday after a rough week Reade watched a game while sipping a beer. Meg had traveled and will return next morning. The ringing of the phone took her focus off the game.

"Hello."

"Reade." Patterson looked distressed on the other end of the phone line. "Do you know where is Tasha?"

"The last time I saw her was when I was leaving and she was in her lab. Did something happen?"

"It's just that she wasn't fine. She had cried. I thought she talked to you." The blonde thought before speaking. "Never mind, I'll try her phone again. It should be nothing."

After Patterson hung up Reade tried Tasha's cell phone, then her home phone, and nothing. He left a message in the mailbox and waited about five minutes later decided to leave.

Tasha had always been an unknown to him, Reade even kissed her once, but soon regretted that she said she had no feelings for him and that they were just friends. He confused himself with some signs she had shown, he only kissed her because he thought she felt something for him, but it really wasn't. They had been friends for so long and had a lot of freedom to talk about many things, but about his feelings he never had the courage to open up. He preferred to move on and not insist, for what they had was too precious to spoil by feelings he wasn't even sure if he really was. And then Tasha left to work for the CIA and they spent a long time without talking. Reade had been hurt that she had left him. In the meantime he met Meg and laid a stone on everything he thought he felt.

Reade walked into three different bars and didn't find her, so he remembered a bar they went to about two years ago and that's where he found her. Tasha was sitting in the corner with a half-empty glass of drink and a lost look. Her heart was moved because she didn't look well.

"Tasha, are you alright?" She was drunk and with red eyes.

"Reade, how did you find me here?"

Tasha had lost all hope, preferring to drown in the drink rather than talking to him. Reade was fine with Meg, she deserved it, Tasha didn't. She was a mess and never wanted to involve him in her sentimental life so as not to ruin their friendship and complicity.

"Come on, I'll take you away and we'll talk when we get home." Reade offered his hand to support her and helped her to her feet.

"Leave me, go home to stay with Meg that I call a taxi." The brunette answered with dismay in her voice.

"No way. You come with me." Reade wondered at the tone she used when speaking of Meg, but let it pass because she was so drunk and didn't even know what she was talking about.

The two remained silent until they reached her house. Tasha was leaning against the passenger door looking through the glass and didn't want to talk. Reade just drove silently.

"Do you want a glass of water? I can make some coffee to help you get better." Tasha was sitting on the couch in her living room and Reade bent down next to her as she talked.

"No, it's not necessary, Reade, go away. Leave me alone with my problems. You already helped me get here."

"I can't leave you like that, you drank a lot and it's not okay, I won't go until you're better. Patterson told me you had cried. Want to talk? You know you can talk to me about anything."

"Patterson ... she can't keep her mouth shut." Tasha spat those words and turned her face away.

"She was just worried, and asked me to help her find you. And honestly, if I hadn't arrived, I don't know how you would come home."

"Reade, go to your house, you don't have to stay here." Tasha knew that Reade wasn't guilty of how she was feeling and would rather he left so as not to dump all his shit on him.

"I'll take you to your room. Come on." He stood, took her by the hand and led her into the bedroom.

Tasha fell into bed without changing clothes. Reade felt obligated to help her get more comfortable, but he didn't want to invade her privacy that way.

"Look Tasha, I'm your friend and I'll always be here for you. I'm leaving and if you want tomorrow we'll talk."

Reade put a blanket over her in an attempt to make her more comfortable. - I'm going. Now that you are settled I get more relaxed." He said sitting on the bed next to her.

Tasha sat down and quickly approached him and kissed him on the lips. Reade found herself unresponsive, just pulled her against him and kissed her as well. Her lips were soft and sweet and had a slight taste of alcohol. He was mesmerized by the intensity of the kiss and the way she wrapped her arms around his neck. He didn't have the strength to stop her, for even he didn't know how much he wanted to kiss her too.

\- I love you... - Tasha whispered these words and lay turning to the side.

When Reade found the strength to get up and leave, she had already slept. He hardly slept. He kept thinking of the kiss and the words she said to him. It must have been alcohol, she couldn't really feel anything for him, because she was Tasha and because if that was the case she could have told him, after all they talked about everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Tasha woke up with a severe headache which was normal when she drank too much alcohol and had become frequent in the last month. She hated to admit it, but she didn't feel good about Reade's engagement. She was losing him. She never had the strength to tell him how she felt and when she left the FBI she knew she had given up. Last night she crossed the line with Reade. It wasn't fair to him to kiss him and say that she loved him now that he was engaged to Meg.

After taking a shower and a headache medicine she went to work, because there was a long day to deal with. Tasha didn't want to find him, but knew it would be inevitable. She shouldn't have exposed herself like that. Worst of all, she remembered the kiss and could still feel the way he kissed her. It was better to forget that.

"Hey, Patterson! What do we have for today?" Patterson was concentrated working on one of the lab computers.

"Hello! Are you ok? I was worried yesterday, you disappeared did not answer the calls. But Reade texted me that you were fine."

"I'm fine. I needn't have said anything to him. I can turn around."

"I was really worried. You had cried and you have all this betrothal engagement..."

"I am fine. Just drank a little too much. Reade helped me go home and..." Tasha stopped talking. "He left me there and left." She didn't want to talk about it.

"You know you can say anything you need to me. We are friends."

"I know. Thanks."

"All right." Patterson nodded and they spent the morning working in the lab.

Reade that had had two meetings in the morning had just returned from lunch and couldn't stop thinking about Tasha. The kiss she had given him rekindled a flame that he thought had gone out. For a long time after she left for the CIA he blamed himself for thinking he should have told her to stay and fought for his feelings. Tasha wanted to leave, she needed to find her way that he thought was not beside him. She left and he avoided contact with her for about a year even though she was the most important person to him, but Reade was afraid to talk to her and end up expressing her feelings or hurting her. Then he met Meg and realized it was time to move on. But yesterday, when he felt her lips on his, his heart sped up and Reade didn't know what to do except he needed to talk to Tasha more than ever.

"Tasha." Reade entered the lab where the two friends worked. "Can you come to my office a minute?"

She nodded and followed him down. She knew what he wanted to talk about.

"Are you ok?" He asked after closing the door.

"Yes, thanks for taking me home." Tasha said avoiding his eyes.

"Patterson called me and worried me, but it was good that I found you." He was also choosing the words to speak.

Reade looked at her studying her in an attempt to decipher what she saw, Tasha was quiet and avoided his gaze.

"Do you remember everything that happened yesterday?"

Yes. I was drunk, don't consider..."

"Tasha!" He interrupted her. "How long will we avoid this conversation?" Reade referred to never having talked about feelings with each other. He knew this was a minefield that they had always avoided. This attitude only drove them away from each other.

The brunette took a deep breath and sat on the chair in front of her. "Look, Reade, I've never been good at expressing my feelings, I don't quite know how to talk about these things."

"Me neither, that's why I didn't do anything to stop you from leaving for the CIA." He also sat in his chair.

"I just wish you had asked me to stay." She looked at him sadly. "When I asked you if there was any reason for me to stay, all I wanted was for you to show some feeling for me. But I left knowing that it would never be matched."

"All this time you've been away I've been wondering what it would be like if I'd done it, if you'd stayed. I wanted to ask you that, but I didn't want to be to blame for stopping you from seeking your happiness."

"It's too late for us. We wasted every opportunity we had."

"Were those words you said to me yesterday true?"

"Yes. I always loved you, but I let you escape for fear of losing your friendship." She said that and got up. "You're engaged now, and it's too late for anything. I'm sorry about yesterday, I just kissed you because I were really drunk. And that's it." She said that and left his office.


	3. Chapter 3

"What are you saying? Does Tasha have feelings for you?" Meg was trying to absorb what Reade had just said. "And you, Reade? Do you feel or have you ever felt anything for her?"  
Reade had decided to have this conversation with Meg. He shouldn't have let this relationship go that far. They both worked well, but sometimes it was lacking that cold in the belly and the anxiety to find it. That was what he felt about Tasha. While she was gone every time she heard the ringing, her heart pounded at the possibility of being her, but never was. He didn't associate that anxiety with love either, he thought he was just missing his friend, but today he knew it wasn't just that. With Meg things moving so fast, it may have been a little of the willingness he felt to help her achieve US citizenship, which was now about to be completed, could also be out of sheer comfort.  
"By your silence, it must be a yes." Meg felt very sad, but didn't take as betrayal, because Tasha had come into his life long before her and if the two felt something for each other she woudn't be in the way.  
"Look, I didn't even know that. I'm sorry to let you get to this point with you and end up this way."  
"All right. I'll pack my things."  
"Meg, I'm not kicking you out. I can go to a hotel until you get a place to stay."  
"It is not necessary. I turn around."  
Reade left for the job totally devastated. As much as he didn't feel love for Meg, he wanted to see her well. But at the same time she was a strong woman, and she could get away with it.

It had been three days since Tasha had spoken with Reade. She felt a void in her chest from the distance between them, maybe it was better that way. They saw each other every day at work, but talked only as needed. Over time they could resume friendship. Tasha wanted to settle for Reade's impending marriage to Meg, but she still found herself crying late at night when she lay thinking about him.  
He was working with Patterson on some reports when he felt the phone vibrate.  
"Keaton?" He is her boss. She was working in partnership with the FBI, but was reporting to the CIA.  
"I need to talk to you. In person." It seemed important from the tone he used.  
"OK. Where did you think?"  
"I arrive from travel in two days and wait for you at my house at 19:30." Keaton was accurate in the information.  
"All right. I will be there." She couldn't imagine what he wanted to talk about. But it should be important.  
"What happened?" Patterson asked as Tasha returned to her.  
"Keaton wants to talk to me. It should be no big deal."  
"Do you feel happy at the CIA? Don't you think about going back to the FBI?" The blonde missed her friend, because even working in partnership was not like the old days.  
"I've thought a few times, but I don't know if I'd find my place back." Tasha referred not only to work, but also to her place in the former family team and she didn't know if they still were.  
"Your place will always be here." Patterson smiled sincerely.  
Tasha smiled a little sadly at her friend who was like a sister.

"A transfer promotion?" Keaton proposed Tasha a senior CIA position, but she would definitely have to move to Langley. "I have time to think?"  
"Tasha, this is a position of extreme trust that has been offered to you because of your loyalty since joining the Agency. I just pointed you out because I saw how you were feeling out of place in your work with the FBI."  
"Displaced? Am I not doing a job well done? Isn't that what you expect from me?" Tasha was outraged at the way he referred to her around the team. But honestly, she sometimes felt that way.  
"You have two days to give me the answer. If you're ready call me in the morning."  
The brunette spent the night almost clear thinking about the proposal received and pondering the possibilities that she would have. The work in partnership with the FBI was coming to an end and her heart told her to stay and try to get back to the FBI, but the reason was that the FBI was no longer an option for her for everything that had happened since she left. how things were now. She couldn't stop thinking about Reade. She missed their partnership, but she knew it was virtually impossible to recover what they had in the past now that she confessed her feelings.

Tasha was very anxious. He hadn't answered Keaton yet, but he already had his answer. Today would be her last day at the FBI, but she hadn't told them she was leaving, she didn't want to say goodbye, but she thought she needed to talk to Patterson, because it wasn't fair to work alongside her all day and get out like that.  
"Patterson, you know today is the last day of the FBI CIA partnership in this case, don't you?" In the late afternoon when they were just in the lab Tasha decided to tell her friend.  
" Yeah. You should definitely go back to the FBI. Do you know what you're going to do?"  
"I got a proposal. I'm going back to Langley. Tomorrow I'll be leaving."  
"Tash... Is that what you really want? Have you talked to Reade yet?"  
"I won't talk. I don't want to say goodbye to him. It is the best to do." Tasha felt tears coming to her eyes and tried to hold back not to fall. "Last week I told him how I feel about him."  
" And what did he say?" The blonde was very fond of both and don't want to see Tasha suffering like this.  
"I didn't let him talk much and I walked away. He does not need me. He has Meg."  
"I dont know. I always thought you had a very strong connection."  
The two talked a little more and Tasha said goodbye to her friend with a tight hug promising to come soon to visit her. Before leaving Tasha looked into Reade's room, he was still there, because the light was on. She just dried a tear, turned her back, and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

She was determined, it was her future that was at stake, and the brunette had always cherished her professional growth, so she had gotten to where she was today. So, with everything wrapped up in her personal life, she had decided to accept the CIA proposal and would leave the next morning. She had managed to put all her personal things in suitcases and boxes and would be taken to a warehouse and return the apartment key to the owner before leaving. Her work at the CIA in partnership with the FBI was very intense, she relived many good things with her former team, and also with Reade, they worked in partnership, went to the countryside, also drank together, as in the old days, watched games, and it was getting harder and harder for her to keep her feelings, she herself felt it was all stamped on her face. All this time was like a farewell, now it was moving on and accepting the changes. She knew she was leaving with a broken heart, but in time it would hurt less and then it would all be just a blur, a reminder of a life she had lived and would never come back to.

Reade was heart in hand, couldn't miss Tasha, not this time. He would do anything to make her stay. When Patterson told her of her intentions to leave he knew it was time to act. Since she had told him that she loved him, he knew he wanted to be with her and that he could no longer take his relationship with Meg, for the love he had already felt for Tasha returned with everything and he knew she would always be the one in his heart. Reade just didn't talk to her immediately after breaking up with Meg to give her a break and didn't want her to feel used or pressured. Now he was standing outside her apartment insisting, but she refused to open it.

"Please, Tasha, open the door!"

"Go away Reade. I don't wanna say goodbye to you."

"Tasha, just let me talk to you. Then I'll leave."

"I don't know if I can do that, Reade. I can't look you in the eyes again. Leave me."

She was quiet inside leaning against the wall by the door waiting for him to leave. Silence settled outside, and after a while she thought he was gone.

"Reade..."

"I still here. Open, please. I just want to talk."

She gave up and opened the door. Tasha had all her hair in a messy bun, which he thought was beautiful, he wanted to hug her and say everything he felt. Reade stared at her and saw that her eyes were red. He knew that was one of the reasons she cried and decided he needed to change that. He didn't want her crying for him.

Reade looked at the bags and boxes stacked in one corner. "Tasha, you don't have to leave."

Reade's gaze conveyed some peace to her, but Tasha didn't want to stare at him, knowing that her feelings would betray her again. She didn't want to feel weak around him.

"I need to go, Reade, is the best thing to do. I don't have much reason to stay."

"You have the team, our team will always be yours too. Your position at the FBI will always be waiting for you. I know you probably won't have the same salary as the CIA, but you have a lot of friends here and your family nearby too."

"Neither the FBI nor my family really needs me. It's not like they really want me to stay."

"Then stay for me, Tash." The dark-haired boy looked at her and tried to convey love and sincerity in his request. "I didn't have the heart to ask you in the past, I don't want to lose you again."

"What are you talking about? You don't need me, Reade." She felt the tears coming to her eyes and decided to let them roll freely down her face. "Do you have Meg..." Tasha's voice came out as a whisper and she wasn't even sure if he could hear.

"Tasha. Meg left me more than a week ago." He saw her look into his eyes and remain silent.

"But you were engaged." She didn't understand.

"Yes, but after you told me... I couldn't go on, so we broke up." Reade finally, confessed.

"But she is OK?"

"It is. I mean, I didn't talk to her anymore, but she had a lot of plans, so I think everything will work out for her."

"You mean you came to ask me to stay..."

"Yes, to stay with me, Tasha! We have already spent too much time apart. It's time for us to be happy, together."

Reade pulled her to him and the tears kept rolling in her eyes. The hug was so strong and warm, there was so much love between them. They stared at each other and Reade wiped the tears from her face with her fingertips and very gently and lovingly.

"I don't want to see you crying anymore. Did you hear me?" Reade asked and she agreed smiling through tears that insisted on keep falling.

Saying that he closed the space between them and kissed her. She loved him so much and not even in her greatest dreams did she imagine the delicacy and love embedded in that kiss. Tasha waited too long for this moment and still didn't believe it was happening. The boy took her in his lap and carried her to the room where they exchanged caresses and confidences, hot kisses and ardent love. They consummated the long-held feeling and slept in each other's arms.


	5. Chapter 5

Tasha parked the car and paused for a moment to reflect on the latest events of her life, all the turnaround that had come with the decisions she'd made over the last few years, months, days. She had always been a work person, and since joining the New York Police about fifteen years ago, all the decisions she had made on the job had come first. She never weighed whether she was right in those decisions, just wanted to do her best for what she had decided to live for, to defend people, to arrest bandits, to kill them if necessary, to do good to the nation that lived and welcomed her so well years ago when her family had come from Mexico. With decisions so strong that she put aside her personal feelings, she knew something was missing inside her, love, someone to share a wine with on cold winter nights, or beside her on warm mornings for a walk. This emptiness had been with her for a long time.

The brunette decided to set aside these thoughts, got out of the car and climbed the stairs thinking about what was waiting for her upstairs. A swirl of uncertainty crossed her mind on the few flights of stairs that led her to the third floor. She knocked and felt her heart race as she heard footsteps and voices on the other side. The door opened and she took a deep breath and braced herself for the future right in front of her.

"Come on, you took so long."

They were all waiting for you. She directed where the rest of them were waiting for her and was greeted with hugs and words of affection by those she loved most in her life. When she saw him, her heart quickened even more and the look they exchanged said everything they felt. He greeted her with a hug and didn't hesitate to kiss her lightly on the lips. A champagne was opened and everyone toasted the happiness and unity of his family that was now complete. They were Kurt, Jane, Patterson, Rich, Boston, Tasha, and Reade.

She was sure she had made the right decision by refusing the CIA offer and asking to return to the FBI the day before. He had taken off today to settle the necessary issues and had not given any answers to his friends, nor to Reade.

Later that night she got up and went to the balcony to watch the sky, so she could see the brightest star in the New York sky, was her happiness. At that moment she was taken aback by the man in her life who hugged her around the waist causing the desire for everything they had done a few hours before to surface and she would give in to him with fervor. They both went back to bed where they loved each other again, knowing that this act would be repeated many times now that they belonged to each other without fear of what the future would bring them.


End file.
